You foolish American

My co-worker, Paula, shared this video with me. If you want some insight (although very exaggerated) into the system here, please watch it. It's hilarious because the issues it brings up are so real. Myself and others here have experienced this first hand.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7839719/ (Watch before reading further!)

Since the video is titled "Why You Shouldn't Teach English in Korea," I feel the need to express that, despite some of these very real issues, I still love working here and so far it has been a very worthwhile experience (I plan on coming back for a second year!). I have also been paid on time, every time, although I can't say the same for some of my other friends here. It's like a game of chance- you never know what kind of situation you will be put into, what kind of boss you will have, if he/she will honor any or all parts of your contract, etc.

My favorite line from the video is, "You foolish American, you're treating your contract like it's a contract." That line is so funny to me because my boss has all but said those same words to me, during the time when he was asking me work extra hours, live in a home stay instead of the promised apartment, and not take any sick days when I was sick.

The other day, a friend of mine told me about a conversation he had with his Korean co-teacher, who found it funny that Americans were so "contract-oriented." He said that if a Korean was asked to do something outside of his/her contract, he/she would do it without question, and that is expected in this culture. Americans come here and are shocked at that. How dare someone ask us to do anything not included in our contract? We see it as though we are being cheated, while they (Koreans) see it simply as their duty. That reminded me of a conversation I had with my boss a couple months ago. He told me, during one of those times when he was asking me to do extra work, that the more work I do, the more I will be respected, and that that is how you earn respect here- by doing more than you are expected to do. I was not very happy to hear that since I was sick and already working full time, but I now realize that maybe that was a cultural thing, instead of some manipulation by my boss to get me to do more work.

I am still a firm believer in sticking to the contract and avoiding getting run down, stressed, and overworked, but at least now I understand the other side, too.

A storm is brewing in Korea

Or is it? With all that has been happening over the past year here, you'd think the Korean people would be suffering from anxiety, fear and anger, among others. Oddly enough though, in my time here, I have come across no such feelings.

Earlier in the year, there was the sinking of the South Korean ship, which I was not here for but which caused quite a stir. Since I've been here, North Korea has fired on South Korea twice, all in the past month. These confrontations have all been near the border of North and South Korea, far north of where I now reside (Jinju is a small city about as far south as you can get in South Korea). It may be for this reason that the people I am surrounded by seem un-phased by the attacks.

At the beginning of the month, around the time when the G20 Summit occurred in Seoul, the North Koreans fired a few shots into South Korean territory. When this happened, I asked my Korean hostess if she had heard about it and she said no and that she doesn't watch the TV, with no noticeable concern. Then, yesterday, the South Koreans were doing some military drills near disputed waters. North Korea warned the south to halt, and when they refused, the North Koreans started firing rounds on one of South Korea's islands, Yeonpyeong. South Korea retaliated by firing off rounds of their own. You may have seen the news: around 60 houses on the island were set on fire, several soldiers and some civilians were injured, and two ROK marines were killed (this bit of news has probably been updated by now but that is what I've heard, so far). They are saying there could be considerable North Korean casualties. I've heard from a couple people in Seoul and they have expressed some fear concerning the attack, but when Dave and I asked our boss about it, he merely laughed and asked if we were worried. I asked why he was laughing and he replied that worse things have happened, and these things happen every year. This seems to be the general feeling down here in little Jinju, though I can't speak for the rest of South Korea. Life goes on, and when these events occur, the people joke about them and shrug them off as though it will never touch them.

The South Koreans that I have come into contact with during my time here all seem to see North Korea as a joke. During my tour of the DMZ, the American soldier that gave us the tour had some bad jokes to tell about the North Koreans and had us laughing at their childish behavior. That basically sums up everything I've heard about North Korea from the South Koreans- jokes and laughter but no serious fear or anxiety about the current situation. Life goes on and no seems to worry that anything more may come of this. I hope they are right.

Here is a link to a news article that talks a bit about the feelings South Koreans living in Seoul have toward what is going on. It sounds like they (those living in Seoul), being much closer to the border, are a bit more concerned, but for the most part still don't see this as a serious threat and will continue about their daily lives as usual.

SO Korean

I just got home from one of my tutoring lessons, where I help a middle school boy with his essay writing. Today's essay was a compare and contrast essay, and in the hour and a half that I spend sitting there and daydreaming while he writes, I started comparing and contrasting Korea with any other place I've lived. There were so many things that seem unique to Korea, so I came up with a list of things that are just so Korean.

KIMCHI: I'll start with the obvious ones, such as being served Kimchi with EVERY SINGLE MEAL. I still wake up in the morning thinking of pancakes and french toast, only to be served soup and rice with Kimchi for breakfast (and lunch, and dinner, at any and every restaurant).

UNIQUE STYLE: It always seemed to me that, while there are many trends in America, Americans tend to add their own uniqueness to their style, being similar but still different from everyone else. In Korea, I see no such desire to be "different." THE style is very obvious and everywhere. For women, the hair style is straight across bangs and hair chopped straight at the shoulders. The look isn't complete though without the big square glasses, oversized sweater, and pair of converse shoes. For the guys, the "pretty boy" look (as the korean girls call it) is desirable, complete with slim jeans, polo shirt, scarf, and pea coat.

PINK ANIMATED SOCKS ON OLDER MEN: Another thing I've never noticed anywhere else is the use of "character socks" by all ages and genders here. Character socks are ankle length socks with different animated characters on them, in all kinds of colors. I've now gotten used to seeing them on my middle to high school aged boys, as well as the old men walking around the streets in sandals and many times pink character socks. They're available just about everywhere for 1,000 won (just under $1.00).

MIRRORS EVERYWHERE: Anywhere you go in Korea, you're bound to see a group of girls, mirrors out, just looking at themselves. They do this on the busses, in restaurants, on the streets, etc. I assume this is why mirrors are include on everything from wallets to cell phone charms here. There are mirrors in every elevator and entrance, and if that isn't enough, you will always see people standing in the middle of the sidewalk, checking their appearance in the nearest window reflection.

BOY BANDS: Lets just say that if the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync had moved their act to Korea, they would probably still be as popular as ever. K-pop is the music of Korea, and boy/girl bands are all the rage.

BABY PERMS: About half my kindergarteners have them. You have to make sure your baby is in style.

RAINBOW DOGS: Ask any of my students what color a dog would be, and they'll give you a very confused look. Why? Because in Korea, a dog can be any color you want it to be. You will rarely see big dogs here (too scary), but you'll see plenty of very colorful, small dogs. The ears, tails, and even whiskers are sure to be dyed a bright pink, green, orange or blue.

HALLOWEEN EVERY DAY: Just kidding. Koreans don't celebrate Halloween, but I don't go a day without seeing Korean women that remind me of the holiday. Masks are commonplace and many are made to cover the entire face, leaving a slit/flap open for the eyes and mouth. I still do a doubletake when I pass them on the street. The look is usually completed with a big visor.

ACCESSORIES: Accessory stores are everywhere and there is never a bad time to wear an oversized bow in your hair or a headband with minnie mouse ears.

Halloween is for Witches

Halloween isn't widely celebrated in Korea, although I hear there are festivities wherever there is a high concentration of foreigners (such as in Busan or Seoul). Also, most hagwons have some sort of celebration, in order to bring some American culture to the students via the foreign teachers. Paula and I thought it would be a great idea to have a halloween celebration at our hagwon, and even started planning everything from dressing up to candy for the kids. We figured it was a go since our boss loves when we plan events for the kids. I told my Korean family (the family I live with) about it and they seemed very excited about it, too. Anyway, the other day, I was in the teacher's office with the other teachers when our boss walked in. I told him the idea and asked if we could get a letter sent out to with the students about it. His response?

"No, I believe Halloween is for witches."

I was a little shocked by that response and I guess he could read it on my face because he quickly added, "But how bout we have a really big Christmas party?"

My family was pretty excited for it so I'll probably take the kids over to the other teacher's houses for some trick-or-treating.

Speaking of my Korean family...the family is a couple with two kids (14 yr old girl and a 7 yr old boy), and they have all but adopted me. The dad works in a different city so he only comes home on weekends, so that leaves the mom and kids. The daughter, Lilly, is one of the students at our academy and is a lot of fun. Every night when she gets home and I'm not home, she'll send me a text saying simply, "Where?"

Her younger brother, William, is very quiet and shy but occasionally has spurts of energy during which he'll yell out random English phrases like, "you can buy your friends!"

The mom speaks enough English that we can communicate, with some help from Lilly, and she is extremely nice.

I've spent a lot of time with them in the past couple weeks and have actually really enjoyed it. They invited me and Jesse to their grandmother's birthday party in a neighboring city the other weekend, and I was able to experience a traditional Korean birthday meal, including everything from birthday sea-weed soup to octopus tentacles to porridge, and many other unidentifiable things. We were seated on the floor around a very long table, and every single inch of it was covered in little dishes to try. Then that night the younger uncle took Jesse and I out to sushi with some of his friends. That was another new experience. Instead of sushi rolls, like I was expecting, we were served huge plates with slabs of raw fish on them. This was followed by about 8 other courses which included, among other things, fish eggs in rice, octopus, and something that was still moving when I ate it.

Also new to me is this FREEZING COLD weather. It's only fall and I feel like I'm going to get frostbite. I don't know how I'm going to make it through winter here!

The DMZ, Global Gathering, and my new family

I've been keeping my weekends action packed, and last weekend was no exception. Paula and I booked a tour to the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea, starting at 7am Saturday morning, and going from there to the Global Gathering on Saturday night. Global Gathering is a huge dance festival featuring DJs such as Armin Van Buuren, Fat Boy Slim, and Justice. I had never heard of most of the DJs but was talked into going and really enjoyed it, although I was ready to get back to my bed after about 3 hours of it. Thousands of foreigners and Koreans showed up to dance.

Now back to the DMZ...a very worthwhile tour. We started by getting briefed by a U.S. soldier at camp Bonifas and signing a Declaration that said we understand the danger we are putting ourselves in by going on this tour (how exciting). I think Paula and I were the only non-military related people on the tour. The tour included a meeting in a building that is shared by both North and South Korea (they take turns using it and lock the doors so the other can't intrude), which is guarded by Korean guards who are in a constant, expressionless Tae Kwon Do pose, ready for anything. We were warned that even though they are there for our protection, if we touch them or get too close, they will hit us (this almost happened to me twice). We were able to see but not take pictures of the North Korean military posts/buildings and were told to under no circumstances make any contact or gestures to the North Korean guards. We were taken to various other sites along the border, including a lookout station that looked over and into the Propaganda Village (picture below), but again, we were prohibited from taking pictures past a certain point. The last part of the tour was a extremely long, hunched over walk through one of the tunnels dug by North Koreans during the war in an attempt to surprise attack Seoul. Next step: booking a tour in North Korea.

To make sure that there was no uneventful moment in the weekend, I was picked up from the bus station as soon as we returned, and moved out of my 4th apartment since coming here, and into another homestay! Long story short, when my co-worker who lived next door to me decided to disappear, that caused our contract with the landlady to be broken and she decided that I should leave, too (we foreigners are such a risk), so now I am living with a family again, but liking it much more than before. This family has two kids, william (7) and Lilly (12, a student of mine) and has lived in the U.S. for a couple years, meaning they speak some English so we can communicate! The father works in a different city so he is only here on the weekends, and the mother and kids are great. The mom makes me breakfasts (rice and curry counts as breakfast here) and lunches every day and I spent last night at the movies and arcade with my new little sister (Lilly).

I had planned a nice relaxing weekend in Jinju for this weekend, but of course, that is not to be had. I was talked into going to a city a couple hours away for a hot air balloon festival and an indie rock festival on Saturday, and was planning on coming back to be here Sunday until my Korean family found out I'd be in Daejon, where apparently they are celebrating their grandmother's birthday on Sunday and insisted I go. There goes my relaxing weekend, but it should be fun, anyway :).

Co-worker update

This one will be short, breath easy. Just thought I'd update on the co-worker situation since I mentioned it at the end of my last post.

Co-worker Arthur, the 30-something year old who has a reputation for being sexist and racist, didn't show up to work at all today and didn't answer any calls. My boss asked me to go home when I got off of work and check on him, since he is my neighbor. I went with our Korean co-teacher, Jess (30 year old woman who lives with her parents, as most Korean women do until marriage). We got to his door and were both imagining the different scenarios of what might happen next (was he dead? abducted?). No one answered when I knocked, and there was no need for a key as it was already unlocked. I opened the door (very slowly) and Jess gasped, covering her mouth. It was all very funny but scary, not knowing what we'd see. We both slowly peeked in and took a couple steps before finding the light and discovering an empty room. Turns out he packed up and left without telling anyone! Sounds like there will be trouble for him if he tries to stay in Korea or ever tries to come back. He will probably be "blacklisted." End of story.

Korean baseball games, festivals, and racism?

Imagine this scenario for me: You're in the U.S. (easy enough), we'll say Costa Mesa, and a shiny, new apartment building has just been completed, advertising nice, spacious rooms. There's just one catch...these rooms are only available to "non-foreigners". In other words, if you're Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Latin, Arabian, or from any other number of countries, you aren't allowed to rent an apartment in this building.I wonder how well that would go over?

I ask you to imagine this scenario because my co-workers and I have just been refused accommodation in one such new building, because we are foreigners. It's actually pretty funny. Our boss convinced the male owner that we would be good tenants, and secured the four of us apartments in the building. Three days later, we're back at work after the weekend, and our boss tells us that the owners wife is refusing to let foreigners live in the building, so no apartments for us. While I was initially somewhat shocked by this, it does save me from a decision I was supposed to make- whether to move now or wait until January. I'm starting to feel at home in my tiny shoe box apartment and I love the area (is it bad that I feel safer here because my boss doesn't like or get along with the landlady?), so I wasn't sold on moving out just yet. If I wait until January (which looks inevitable now), I will move into the apartment that Paula (my friend and co-worker) lives in now, as her contract will be up in January.

Now...on to less comical subjects, like baseball. This past weekend, I went with three other friends of mine to a baseball game in Busan. Baseball is pretty big in Korea and I hear they do well internationally, too. I'd been wanting to see a game here for awhile, and it's the playoffs so my chances were running out, so we decided this was the weekend to go. All the tickets were already sold out so we had to scalp some. That in itself was a great experience. The main entrance was surrounded by police officers and extremely crowded. We weren't sure where to look for tickets so stood there looking lost, until a Korean man came up to us and pointed up to the next level. When we got there, there was a whole group of old Korean men, all trying to sell tickets. When we approached them they chose one amongst the to deal with us. The guy told us to follow him to a different area, and then asked for the money, telling us we'd get the tickets at the entrance gate. Don't worry, we're smarter than that. We went back to where the group of old men were gathered and made motions until they realized we wanted to see our tickets first. Another old man motioned for us to follow him to yet another area, and handed us four tickets, grabbed our money, andhurried off. As we were approaching the entrance, we realized that the date on one of the tickets was two days earlier. We went back in search of the man but he was no where to be found and the others refused to switch tickets with us. We decided to try and get in anyway, and succeeded, at least into the first section before entering the actual stadium.

When we tried to get into the stadium, no one seemed to know what gate we should be at. We were first directed to go up and after going up, were sent back down, then left, right, etc. About five gates later we were finally in the stadium and searching for seats. This was also confusing since we couldn't read anything that was written on our tickets, so we just claimed three seatsin a very nice section, and sat there forabout two innings before getting kicked out and herded over to where the general admission ticket holders were supposed tobe. Of course by this time there were no seats, so we stuck to the stairs. The game was fairly exciting (for a baseballgame) and we got to witness a fight between a couple Korean fans and the officials/police...the fans won (and while being led out of the stadium continued to push the officials around with no consequences). It's interesting to me that Korean police officers seem to have no power here, yet you never see any crime and I never feel threatened here. Anyway, back to the game. Another funny thing is that it is trendy for women here to wear "Minnie Mouse" type ears to all events they attend. There were plenty of these at the game. Another difference between the experience here and how it would be in America- instead of hot dogs and cracker jacks, the staple baseball snack is driedsquid...mmmmm.

As for the festivals, I've just attended my first here in Korea, and have gone back for three days now. It's a lantern festival at the river, to commemorate the time in the 1500's when Japan was invading the Jinju castle and the Korean soldiers inside the castle used lanterns tocommunicate with their soldiers outside of the castle. Now it's a huge festival with big lit up characters on the river, thousands of lanterns everywhere, festival food (I've had the Turkish kebabs, Korean overpriced crab, cinnamon pancake, and strawberry choc. chip ice cream..all very good), along with hundreds of shops/stalls selling everything imaginable. There is also a stage with various acts going on at all times(we witnessed some Korean drummers in costumes and some latin dancers "movin it"-guys in tight sparkly leggings and girlsin tiny skirts and bikinis), and fireworks on a couple of the nights. Overall a fun experience :). I'll have to cut this "short" as I'm being ordered to go home and search for our co-worker/my neighbor who didn't show up to work today and hasn't answered any phone calls.

The Recap

I realize I haven't been updating my blog muchrecently. This is due to a break in my routine (in the form of a amazing trip to Thailand) and some extremely frustrating issues with my boss.

SO, to give a quick re-cap, here's what I've learned in thepast month and a half since my last update:

I love Thailand- the cashew chicken and rice, the extremely cheap, low quality clothes and jewelry, the heavenly Thai massages, the beautiful islands, the crowded city of Bangkok full of tuk tuks (little motorized bike-taxis), ping pong tourneys, elephant rides, insects sold as food, and the excessive amount of foreignbackpackers sharing the same experience.

I no longer like my initial favorite food in Korea, Bibimbap. Eggs, rice, and long, stringy vegetables got really old after the first month. My new favorite is korean bbq duck wrapped in leaves, mmmm.

Koreans have no concept of personal space or what I'd call "American common courtesy". I still haven't been able to get used to walking down the sidewalk and getting completely run over/into by koreans who I clearly made eye contact with two seconds before, but then pretend not to see me. Korean women and grandmothers (ajumas) tend to be the biggest offenders here.

Bosses in the "real world" or more accurately in Korea are far different from small Christian University bosses. Thanks to current my boss, I have now moved three times since getting here and am now in an apartment the size of a normal american standard bathroom, I have changed schedules too many times to count, working overtime without pay and then having my job threatened when I brought the issue up, and been accused of not paying my phone bill, when my boss (also the accuser) had failed to set up the automatic bill pay that he assured me was in place. I was also just asked to pay for two and a half months worth of rent, gas, and internet, for my time in the first apartment, where I spent a total of 2 weeks. This was finally resolved when I brought out a calendar and showed my boss the exact days of my stay there.

That last two paragraphs sound like a lot of complaining and maybe some cultural insensitivity (sorry, can't help it), but I really do still love Korea. I've recently taken up rock climbing and have joined a few others on weekend trips to some beautiful places in Korea to climb, including a waterfall surrounded by cliffs. I've decided that my weekends feel like a waste if I'm not using them to see other parts of Korea, so I've been taking little backpacking trips as much as possible, including some of the beautiful beaches and islands of Korea. Public transportation here is great and easy to use, after you figure out how to read the Korean alphabet and pronounce names of places, which makes travel really easy.

Oh Korea. I'm four months in, eight to go.

MUDFEST

There is an annual festivalheld in the city of Boryeong, Korea, whose sole purpose is to get drunk and play in the mud. It started out years ago simply as a promotional event for this "cosmetic, healthy mud," but as the years passed, more and more foreigners started showing up and just trying to get as muddy as possible. That is how it became "Mudfest," a huge mud festival that thousands of foreigners and Koreans (but mostly foreigners) show up to in order to play, party, and get very muddy.

This past weekend was the festival (it lasts for two weekends) and the Jinju crew decided to make a trip of it. We rented a Noraebong bus (Karaoke bus) for the four hour trip so that time would fly by as everyone drank, sang, and danced. It was quite the sight. When we got to Boryeong, we had rented out one floor of a Pension, which was just a few rooms with floor space and some blankets, and everyone packed in and claimed a spot on the floor. Obviously a group of 22+ yr. olds were not about to call it a night, so everyone headed down to the beach from there (now midnight) and began splashing around in the ocean. Because of the big event, the whole city was awake the whole night, full of foreigners from everywhere.

The next morning everyone got up and headed down the beach to the festival. It consisted of plenty of inflatable bounce obstacle course things filled with mud for races, a huge slide which ended in a big puddle of mud, numerous pools of mud where people packed in for mud wrestling, a jail where you could get hosed down with mud, some stalls where, if you aren't a fan of brown, you could get painted all different colors, and then a large area where all the thick mud was dumped for an ongoing mud fight. There was also a stage with a couple mc's, music blaring, and plenty of drunk foreigners dancing around, covered inmud. The whole thing was pretty amazing, including the part when a very old, drunk Korean man attempted to make out with me. My favorite foreigners had to be the group of South Africans, all belligerently drunk the entire weekend and wearing an odd assortment of torn clothes and matching fake tattoos. The "paparazzi" were everywhere, taking pictures of the muddiest, drunkest foreigners. It was great 'cause the entire city looked as though it had been taken over by zombies :). The beach right below the mud festival was packed all day as well, as when people got sick of being caked in mud, they would just jump in the ocean.

After spending an entire day covered in mud, we finished by washing off in the ocean until everyone got kicked out of the water by the po-po because the waves were getting rough. That night the city was alive again with so many foreigners wandering around, it was the first time since arriving here that I have understood everyone around me. The next day the beach was littered with all kinds of cameras, money, shoes, etc. but most were broken and torn. In the afternoon the sun decided to show up for the first time that weekend, so the beaches quickly became PACKED. Anyway, that was my exciting weekend at Mudfest. Now I just have to get through this week of teaching and it's on to Thailand!

Teaching kindergarten without a voice is a nightmare

This past week I've been sick with some kind of flu, probably the initiation sickness that all teachers get when arriving in South Korea. At the start of last week I woke up and ended up throwing up all morning, having an extremely sore throat, runny nose, and fever. I hadn't been able to sleep in two nights as a result. I was online and my friend, Christina, advised me to go to the hospital. I'm used to living in a culture where you don't go to the hospital unless you're dying or something, as it's so expensive and many times unnecessary, but here in Korea things are different. The people go to the hospital for everything, and it's incredibly cheap. You know your in a different culture when you're walking down the street and there are two men limping along in front of you wearing hospital gowns, bandages, and crutches (just noticed the one guy isn't acting so normal, either), or when you're in the grocery store and there's a woman pushing not only her grocery cart, but an IV stand as well, along side her. I've seen this a lot since getting here- people just take their IVs, needle, bag, stand and all, and walk out on the street or go shopping. My co-worker/friend, Paula, likes to say it's sort of a fashion statement here.

Anyway, I took my friend's advice, called up my co-worker, Dave, and asked him to show me where the hospital is. He took me there, asked for an English-speaking receptionist, and then went back home. I thought I'd be fine, seeing as there was an English speaker, but as soon as Dave left they ushered me into another room where a NON-English-speaking doctor was waiting, and left me there. I sat there wondering how I was going to communicate to him what was wrong, and then became terrified thinking, "what if they treat me for something I don't have, or give me a shot or something?" The doctor started asking me all kinds of questions in Korean, and I just kept nodding yes to everything and then pointing to my throat (that's the short version, anyway. I'll save you the detailed hand motions and confusion that I should be used to by now). He did some tests to check me out, typed something into the computer and then sent me back out. I found the English-speaker, and he told me my doctor's bill is 14,000 won (about $14) and printed out the paper the doctor had sent over, which turned out to be my prescription. He then pointed me in the direction of the pharmacy and sent me to get my medicine. I walked to the pharmacy, showed them my prescription, and then waited until they came back out with two bottles of liquid and a string of packaged pills. The pharmacist then went about trying to explain to me what I should do with the medicine (another round of confusing hand motions and words I didn't understand) and I just kept nodding and hoping I'd be able to figure it out on my own. This is all guesswork, but I think one was a cough syrup, one was a minty liquid for gargling (I'd bet it was just mouthwash), and then the pills were antibiotics that I guessed I was supposed to take three times a day, according to other teachers who had been sick. That bill came out to 11,000 won ($11).

The next day my voice was coming and going, and I could barely squeak out words. Nevertheless, I had to go in and teach kindergarten, which requires me to read, sing, and dance. I tried my best to do all of this with a little help from cds, and when my voice failed me completely, I gave the kids a page to color, from the lesson. Later that day, when I went in for my afternoon classes, my boss called me in and said he had received a complaint about my teaching from the kindergarten director (who wasn't even there!). She had written him a letter saying that it is not good for the kids to just color, and that the teacher needs to be more interactive with them. I was pretty mad and attempted to tell/show him (my attempt was proof enough) why I was not able to sing to the kids for the ENTIRE class time. He started laughing and said he would explain to her my situation and that he understands but since it's business, they probably wouldn't care. He told me to just have my kids do writing exercises for my afternoon classes so I wouldn't have to talk, even though I knew that would be impossible since my kids need to hear me yell before they will do anything productive. I asked him what I should do about kindergarten the next morning if my voice was still gone, and he told me to ask my co-worker, Dave, to take over for me. Dave hated that, of course, and tried to get the class cancelled, but these Koreans are crazy and can't cancel one kindergarten class, even if the teacher is sick. Dave ended up taking it over for me and then the rest of the day kept saying that he felt like he was getting a sore throat, too (I'm convinced this was just his way of getting out of another day of kindergarten). My boss let me leave my afternoon classes early that day, and pulled me aside to tell me to call Dave again in the morning, because he wouldn't say no to me. After I left the building, I got a text form the boss which said "if you call Dave, don't tell him about me." The thing you have to understand here is that my boss and Dave have a very interesting relationship. My boss really values Dave as a teacher, so he will do anything to keep Dave happy and not upset him. Dave knows this but will still do anything Mr. Lee asks him to do, he'll just complain as he does it. Anyway, the next day came and I was feeling a little better so I decided to avoid any Dave/Mr. Lee drama and take the classes myself. I'm still coughing but at least I can yell at my kids again :).

Pig liver and iced noodles

I'm getting used to the constant miscommunication here, as it seems to happen to me every day. Not only was I ready to move out of my apartment mid-week, on July 1st, when my boss had apparently tried to tell me July 4th ("July firth" is how that one happened), but I also wasted a good 15 minutes of class time earlier this week, thanks to the language barrier. One of my students walked into class half an hour late so I said, "where have you been?" She looked at me, bewildered, sat down, and then started telling me that her name is not Ben, it's Ashley, and that Ben was not in this class. I didn't make the connection, so I told her I know her name is Ashley, and I asked her why she was telling me about Ben. She started speaking to the class in Korean and then the entire class spent the next few minutes trying to explain to me that Ben was not in our class. I looked through the attendance sheet to see if there was a Ben, but there wasn't. I kept telling them that I know Ben isn't in this class, and asking them why they were talking about him, and they kept trying to tell me that I was the one who had asked about Ben in the first place. We were all confused until the late girl finally got up and said "teacher, I walk in and you say to me where Ben?" At that it finally clicked and I just started laughing. When I could control it, I explained to her that I had asked "where have you been?" as in, "Where were you?" not, "where's Ben."

At least in those situations both parties knew some English. My current situation lacks that factor.

Today I was moved out of my lovely, spacious apartment and into a different lovely, spacious apartment. They are both in the same gated area, so still walking distance from my Hogwan (academy I teach at...and don't assume any of this is spelled correctly). The difference is that I'm sharing this new one with a Hagima (Ha-ji-ma), which is a Korean grandmother, who speaks zero English. Since I speak zero Korean, aside from kamsahamnida (thank you) and juseyo (please give me?), we are unable to communicate with each other without the use of hand gestures, and so far those haven't gotten me anywhere either. I'm told this arrangement can be either temporary, until August when another apartment opens up, or permanent, depending on what I want. My boss is trying hard to sell me on this set up and keeps telling me this is the best thing for me, but I am far from sold on it. While he was helping me move in, he kept pointing out the beautiful, traditional furniture, and saying this situation is the best way for me to learn Korean. He also kept trying to tell me, in whispers, how this family is very influential and a friendship with them would be beneficial to me. Of course, my staying here is free so he wouldn't have to put up rent money each month, either. As much as I want to help him out in this, I just can't see myself ever being at ease here or enjoying it. First of all, this Korean grandmother, while very generous, is far from the soft-spoken, nice, feeble, old grandmother-type. She is very strong willed and when she talks to me I feel as though she is yelling at me. It doesn't help that I don't understand her and she thinks she can resolve that problem by repeating herself over and over. Second of all, I have no internet here. Obviously I need internet in order to communicate with my favorite people on the other side of the world :). I also don't know how this works with her being a grandmother and me being a 22 year-old who likes to stay out late with friends (since I doubt I'll be able to convince anyone to come hang out here). Is she a light sleeper who is going to wake up when the 3 (yes THREE, including a code) locks on the door click open? I guess I won't know until I try coming in from the late showing of Eclipse this Thursday! Needless to say, I'm going to make the most of the situation while I'm in it, and hope that I'll be out of it soon!

Anyway, none of that has anything to do with the title this post, so I'll get to that now. The grandmother I'm living with is the grandmother of one of my students, who was here with her mother today to welcome me. After I moved all of my stuff in, they told me I was going out to eat with their family. They took me to a Korean bbq restaurant, where you sit on the floor at low tables. The family consisted of my student, Melissa, her mother, father, 9 month old brother, and her grandmother (my new roommate). Melissa was the only one that knew any English, and only as much as she had learned at our Hogwan in the past few months. The conversation was pretty comical, to say the least. The main course that I was treated to was pig liver, cooked in front of us and then cut into bite size pieces. They kept putting pieces on my plate so I kept eating, and it was actually pretty good. They put a bunch of other things on my plate too, and I still don't know what any of it was. After that they ordered me iced noodles, which is supposed to be a favorite in Jinju. It was literally a big bowl of ice with buckwheat noodles in it, and then kimchi, some sauce, and an egg on top. I'm still getting used to using chopsticks so noodles take me forever to eat, and the ice made it even more difficult. At least it all tasted good.

See the resemblance?

Anyone who has had a college class with me probably knows that my favorite way to get through a class is by drawing the professor. That little habit is now coming back to haunt me. Halfway through my last class, I looked up and one of the girls who had finished working early was drawing something. I asked her what it was and she started giggling and tried to hide it. Her friends all started laughing and saying "teacher, it's you!" At first, the artist started denying it, "no, not you, not you!" but then her friends pointed out that the person in the picture had on the same outfit that I did and the same hairstyle. At this, she started blushing, covering her face and saying, "I'm sorry, teacher!"

See the resemblance? Super tall, size 0, and Asian...? I have to say, I was never quite as generous to the subjects of my drawings.

The sad part was, when I asked her if she wanted to be an artist, she shook her head violently and said that her father hits her when she draws pictures! He wants her to be a teacher. Unfortunately, that's the story with many of my students.

"I will cheer you up."

I had to meet my boss today and drive downtown to turn in paperwork for my immigration card. Our conversation covered topics like, trust ("we need to have a trust between us, in America they don't have"), kindergarten, life here, motorcycles (he keeps warning me not to go on motorcycle rides), teachers that died here (probably told to scare me from going on motorcycle rides), and my favorite - depression. That part of the conversation went like this:

Boss: Dana, if you ever feel depressed, like bottom line, I will cheer you up.

Me: (laughing) Ok, thank you.

Boss: Serious, when you get really, really depressed and it's the bottom line, send me text and i will take you to a place that is very, very great.

Me: (still laughing and wondering where this place is) Well, hopefully I won't get depressed anytime soon!

Boss: (trying to show me the seriousness of the situation) I know great place to cheer you up. We have a trust so when you get to the bottom line, I will take you. Ok?

Me: Ok, thank you!

This conversation came up out of the blue, and he made no mention of where or what this place is. I'm tempted to fake depression just to find out.

Chachi?!

I made it out of the week and into my first weekend in Korea, and I can honestly say I have never been so excited for the week to be over. Anyway, my first Saturday here turned out to be very eventful, with the high point being when I was picked out of the water and onto a jet ski by a random Korean guy for the scariest jet ski ride of my life (there were two guys, so both Paula and I got scary rides), and the low point being a tie between when I got poked, slapped, and called "Chachi" by an old Korean woman, and when I got thrown into the ocean (fully clothed) by an older French man in a speedo-ish swim suit (only joking, it wasn't that terrible).

About getting slapped by a grandma...

I went out to meet Paula on the street in typical beach attire (swim suit with shorts and a tank top over it), and as I was walking toward he

r, this little old Korean woman pulling a cart was just leaving her and walking toward me. The Korean lady stopped in front of me and pointed to me and then to Paula, saying "Chachi!" and then poked me hard in my chest and slapped my shoulder, all the while wearing a grin on her face and repeating the word "Chachi!" I looked up at Paula, bewildered, to see her cracking up but wearing the same confused expression and holding her shoulder where she had just been slapped. The old lady continued to yell at me (still smiling) and slap me, so I finally threw my hands up and said "I'm sorry, I don't know!" and ran over to Paula. We decided it must have been that we were revealing too much skin, according to older Koreans, by showing our shoulders, even though most younger korean girls wear much less than we were wearing.

About getting attacked by French man...

From there, we boarded a bus and took an hour long ride out to some beach city that I don't remember the name of. When we got there we joined up with a couple of Paula's friends, who were with a group of French engineers. Paula and I went straight to the water, just to see how cold it was, and out of nowhere I felt a pair of arms encircle me, pick me up, and run me into the water. I was surprised enough just because I didn't know anyone else there so I thought surely some random guy wouldn't throw me in. I kept yelling to let me down but the arms then threw me, clothes and all, into a huge incoming wave. Thankfully the water was pretty nice. Unthankfully, when I looked up to see who had done that, I saw a much older man (later thirties, early forties, maybe?) in a speedo-ish shorts, standing there and grinning at me. I looked at the beach and the entire group of French engineers were laughing. Once I got back and the French chef gave me his towel to dry off, the speedo guy walked over (still grinning) and introduced himself as Serge.

The foreigners at the beach are the only ones that wear swimsuits here. Despite the hot, humid weather, the Koreans come fully clothed and then some. Not only that, but they swim fully clothed, too.

*Addition...I was in bed by midnight tonight and ready for sleep when I received this text: "r u asleep? we can play in a castle!" from Paula. This lead to a 15 minute walk through the rice fields, in our pajamas, to a castle to meet up with some of the other teachers, and then a return trip back through the countryside at 3 a.m. I think our director would have had a heart attack had he seen that (He is VERY conservative and has strong opinions. I would love for him to have seen his two female teachers walking through the countryside at midnight in their pajamas). Only in Korea.

Teacher, how much is your weight?

In order to use up more class time during my first week without lesson plans, I've started each class period asking the students if they have any questions for me. Mistake? Probably. Here are some of the questions I've had to answer over the past two days, with some of the answers I've given...

*You married? No. (Always the first question)

*Do have car? Nope. (No license either but they don't need to know that)

*Do have boyfriend? Yes (Otherwise they go around saying I'm with Dave, my dad's 52 year old best friend - awkward).

*Have kissed boyfriend? Ew.

*Boyfriend has car? Yep.

*Boyfriend has sports car? Yep (to which they all respond with a collective "ooooooooo").

*Do have brother? Yes.

*Is brother handsome? Yes, again.

*Can we see picture? No (I showed one class and the girls agreed but the boy said he was disappointed!).

*Teacher, how much your kilograms? I don't know kilograms.

*Then how much your American weight? 115 pounds (and then they all pulled out their calculators and converted it to kilograms).

*Dave is your boyfriend? Noooo.

*Dave is your uncle? Yes...? (Sometimes yes, depending on if I'm in the mood to explain the real connection or not)

*Where you live? Ju-yak dong

*What apartments you live in? Hyundai.

*What is your floor and number? No way.

*What does your favorite man look like?

Explanation for the last one: I didn't understand the question so one girl said "Example- my favorite man would have big eyes and gold hair." They were asking what my ideal man would be.

Did I mention I'm required to teach in slippers? Oh, and I had a kindergarten boy today dressed in a tight leopard print tank top and tight, bright blue highwaters, pulled down just low enough to show off some neon green underwear. I will now be taking my camera to classes with me.

And the craziness begins.

I'm two hours into my first day of teaching and already trying to ward off a panic attack. That may be a little overdramatic but I'm definitely in panic mode at this point. This morning my boss and his wife walked me over early to the kindergarten where I am supposed to teach from 10am to 12pm - four 30 minute classes. I was also supposed to get some sort of curriculum, which I still have no received. We got there half an hour early and they sat me down, served me tea, and then proceeded to have a 30 minute conversation with the Kindergarten director about me in Korean, glancing my way every couple sentences. Once that was over with, they showed me to a classroom and herded a group of 20-25 little Koreans in and then left me. I spent the first minute and a half staring at them as they yelled and made indian noises at me (the kind you see in peter pan), wondering how the hell I was going to start teaching this group of 5 year olds that don't understand anything I'm saying. I finally began by introducing myself, to which they responded by repeating everything I was saying. I tried asking them to tell me their names, and they asked it right back at me. After several minutes of motioning and trying to get them to answer, I pulled out a book and settled for showing them pictures. They seemed to enjoy that for awhile, and when their attention started to leave, I put in a cd and we did songs the rest of the class (picture me in front of 25 kindergarteners, singing, dancing and trying to get them to join me).

After two classes like that, a Korean lady came in and proceeded tell me what to do next, all in Korean. After it was clear to her that I had no idea what she was saying, we began what turned into a 10 minute (literally!) exchange of hand motions, pointing, and repeating words slowly in our own languages, to no avail. We finally both just burst out laughing and she walked me to the door, pointed in the direction of Oxford English Academy, and I left. Keep in mind, I was told I had four classes there that morning and I had only taught two of them. I walked back, laughing at myself the whole way. When I was able to get ahold of Mr. Lee, my boss, he called the kindergarten and realized that there had been a misunderstanding and they had combined the four classes into two. I'm told this is typical Korean behavior- to change plans at the last minute or just not plan at all.

Anyway, that was the first hour of my day. Now on to the next 8.

I knew I would love Korea when...

Since arriving in Korea 5 days ago, I have already seen and experienced so many bizarre things (bizarre to me, at least). I'll start with the moments in the past few days that let me know without a doubt that I'm in the right place.

I knew I would love Korea when...

...the first thing my new boss said to me when I got off the plane was, "You looked healthy in your picture." When I asked what he meant by that, he responded with, "No offense, but in your picture you looked fatter."

...the second thing my new boss said to me was, "Do you like to sing?" And when I answered with a shrug and a "yeah, sure," he responded with: "Good! You can be the lead singer for our worship team at church!"

...my new boss asked me (very seriously) to please not die or get very sick right away because my insurance wouldn't be ready for a few days.

...I showered for the first time in a shower with no curtain or barrier between it and the rest of the bathroom, soaking the entire room.

...my boss told me I must go with his wife to the bathhouse, where Korean women strip and walk around together naked in a large room with heated pools, shower stations, and saunas.

...I was convinced to eat a raw silkworm, not knowing that they are meant to be steamed/cooked and mixed with other things.

...my new co-workers told me (repeatedly) that my first 6 weeks would be hell and that I was being "thrown to the lions" by being given kindergarten with no lesson plans on top of the normal grades, but not to panic.

...I went in for a health check that consisted of stripping and putting on old parachute pants and a bathrobe for a chest xray, attaching little suction cups all over my chest for a "heart test," peeing into a cup that read "tasters choice" on the front of it, and having my arm grabbed and stuck with a needle for a blood test with no warning. All the while not having any idea what to do and being pushed and prodded until I complied with whatever it was they needed from me.

....my boss told me he could not help me with my heavy groceries because people would "make gossip," and as soon as he decided to "screw it" and help me, the ladies selling vegetables on the street began talking about how I must be his wife, to which he responded with some angry Korean comment and gave my groceries back to me.

These are silkworms, which are supposed to be steamed or fried and mixed with spices and other food.