Cultural difference or just plain rude?

The other day, my boss was driving my co-worker, Jesse, and I to our adult business-English classes in the next city over, as he does every Monday-Thursday. During this ride, I decided to bring up my departure, which is quickly nearing. I started like this,

"Mr. Lee, when should I start looking for a ticket to go back to the U.S.?"

In response, he burst out laughing and said "Oh, that is a really awkward question! A Korean man who doesn't know American culture would think you are being rude!"

I was a bit surprised and told him that I was not trying to be rude, just wondering when I should get my departure ticket for, since I will be leaving soon. He told me HE understood, but another Korean man might think I was saying "I want to get out of here!" Anyway, he went on to say that if I ever return to Korea, I should contact him because International friendships are important. THEN, out of nowhere (or maybe because we had just talked about friendships and he felt comfortable enough to do this?), he said:

"You know, Dana, you have been gaining and losing weight a lot recently. That is what happens when people take drugs."

Jesse then piped in with, "Now THAT is an awkward question!"

I was a bit shocked and flustered by that and started laughing and then going on about how I haven't noticed any significant weight gain or loss but who knows because in winter I don't exercise as much because it's so cold outside so it's possible I've gained and lost some weight but the scale has never showed more than a 5 pound difference, blah, blah, blah. I then realized that possibly more important than his opinion on my weight changes was his suggestion that I take drugs. I switched tracks and said, "Mr. Lee, do you think I take drugs?!"

He then started laughing and said "That never came to my mind, I was just surprised at how much weight you gained a few weeks ago. I know you don't take drugs but if you see on TV, when the actors lose and gain weight it is because they are on drugs." Then he went on to say that maybe it was because of how I was dressing (lots of layers seeing as its Winter!).

When I got to my adult (all male) class, I brought that up and asked if that was normal in Korea. They all had a good laugh, first, and then said that a man should never say that to a women in Korea, BUT if it's your boss, well then..what can you do? So apparently comments on your weight are OK as long as they are coming from your employer. Good to know.

Korean Winters

I blame my lack of updates on the Korean winter. It has been so cold here that I don't know what to do with myself. Up until now, my winters have been spent either on the equator or in sunny southern California. I didn't know what harsh was until I came here. Yikes.

Also due to the winter, I have fallen into a somewhat monotonous pattern of work, home, sleep and occasionally meeting friends for dinner. There was one sunny day in my memory since coming back from Ecuador during which I was able to rollerblade with my friend Christina, and there was a recent four day vacation during which I braved thechill and went on a four day hiking/camping trip. The hiking trip was well worth the time in the cold and we were able to summit a few peaks, as well as fight with a couple belligerent Koreans(one of them was a drunk elderly-ish man who ate our dinner, threw our stove around several times, and was just all around rude). I was a bit disappointed that I didn't see any of the infamous Korean girls hiking in their high heels (it really does happen!).

I'm racking my brain for more information to share, and the only thing that is coming to me at the moment is that my hair is bright red, after requesting a dark brown at the salon last week. I'd like to say it was a miscommunication, but when you point to a specific hair sample in the color that you want, it's hard to be misunderstood..no language barriers when it comes to pointing and hand motions. And if there was any argument, I'll add that I even learned my colors recently and backed up my pointing with the Korean word for brown. Twenty minutes in, I noticed the dye turning a very red-looking color, so I called my hair person over to me and said "brown, not red?" and she brought me the sample book again, pointed to the BROWN color I had chosen, and assured me this was the right color. Come time to take off the towel and there was no question that what I had was not brown hair. I pointed to my hair and said "RED!" and my hair person smiled and replied, "yes, but beautiful!" Thankfully I was able to convince myself that red isn't so bad and I actually enjoy it now :). (Pictures are more recent so the red has died down a bit!)

I might as well give an update on my work schedule, since it is constantly changing. I now spend my mornings teaching rowdy little Korean kindergarteners, my afternoons teaching lessons to elementary aged children at my hagwon, and my nights in a completely different city, teaching adult males business English for two hours. Apparently studying International Business in college qualifies me for this. Tonight was actually my first night. My co-worker and I each must take one of these classes every night, in a city 20 minutes away from Jinju and at a well-known engineering company that manufactures airplanes and helicopters. My eyes got visibly wider when I walked in (already nervous) and realized my class was made up of all men, all very smart, qualified engineers, and all older than me. I started sweating upon entry and was told by my students to calm down several times, mainly after I realized I was reading them answers for a certain activity from the wrong script and had thoroughly confused all of them. They were decent enough to laugh with me, though, and from there it went pretty smoothly. One man (late 40's maybe?) told me had had to leave halfway through class, but now that he has seen the teacher, he doesn't want to. I wasn't really sure how to take that. They all loved my red/brown hair story and used it in many of the practice dialogues I asked them to perform, so I guess some more good came out of that incident, too. By the end of the class I was fairly comfortable with them, but I don't know if I will ever be comfortable enough to reprimand my "elders." Tomorrow I will be there again, but with a new class of all adults. Maybe they'll throw in a female or two for me? I'll let you know.